January 28, 2022



For the love of Christ constraineth us; because we thus judge, that if one died for all, then were all dead. 2 Cor 5:14

Many times, we encourage ourselves with the responsibilities in marriage. We talk about the husband duties and , wives duties; That is okay and important but there is something much more important that can make marriages work without stress. That is putting the love of Christ first and foremost in our marriage.  By His mercy, we trust that the Lord will bring everyone of us into this experience afresh and keep our home fresh for His purpose.

What is this matter? It is the matter of His love. The higher His love in your heart, the better you will love your wife. The deeper his Love has permeated your heart, the deeper the well of forgiveness will be dug in your heart.

Colossians Chapter 3 shall be our text book for this clinic and we can draw wisdom from other areas from the word of God as much as possible, but we want to explore this chapter as it relates to our marriages. This is one of the chapters of the scripture that highlighted the roles of individuals in marriage including children and even maids in the house. But before Paul arrived at that later verses of admonition for couples, he first highlighted the cardinal principles that will make those roles and duties effective. Sincerely if we live our life as a Christian as highlighted in this chapter, our marriages will be fruitful and enjoyable.

This chapter spelt out our Position, Power, Pursuits and priorities as couples to please God and enjoy ourselves as husband and wives.

If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory. Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: For which things’ sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience: In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them. But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him: Col 3:1-10

…If ye then be risen with Christ …

This chapter started unusually with a conditional word – IF-  that is very uncommon with starting of chapters in the bible. This condition is very important for us to consider regularly because it is very easy for us to forget that the first and foremost platform we stand upon and relate with our spouse is CHRIST. Most times we unknowingly and unconsciously step out of this platform before relating with our spouse, as a result we enter into all the evils that has befell our homes.

If Ye… This is talking about our salvation, if you are not saved, you cannot be a correct husband and correct wife. Please don’t joke with this matter.

If Ye … This is a personal matter. It is ‘you’ as an individual first. If you as husband or as wife had been risen with Christ, that is, you have been renewed, you have been victorious over sin and self, it will greatly bring peace and harmony in your marriage.

…seek those things which are above…

Now, this is the result of what has happened to you, this is what follows if indeed you have been risen with Christ.  There will be a shift in the pursuit of your heart. To avoid argument and confusion, Paul quickly added what is above that we should seek … where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. It is not abroad that we should seek, it is above; it is not men that are above him, it is not women that is above her, it is Christ.

When Paul said we should seek Christ that is above, he is bringing us back to God original plan and purpose that He should be the center of attraction in our home.  Gen 2:7-8; 21-22.

God want us to come above and consult him over every matter. This was the error of Adam and Eve. Eve ate the fruit without consulting God and Adam also took the same.

If you know how to seek Christ above over every situation, you will conquer you spouse faster and easier. But unfortunately, many of us don’t know or desire to seek above for help when relating to our spouse. If we can begin to engage God above in our marriages, our marriages will be effective and fruitful. Psalm 127:1;

…For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God

This is the cruse of the matter. When that ‘you’ in you is dead and you are alive in Him. This is the mystery of Christ love in operation in our home. If you as husband allow your ideas, principles, ideologies to die and allow Him to be seen and the wife also allow hers to die but she is alive in Christ, that home will continually bring forth Christ’s glory.

If the two of you are inside HIM as the picture above shows, only what will be seen in your home will be what only is permitted to happen inside Him. I John 1:5.

None among the couple is the focus again, it is no longer ‘I’ or ‘You’, that is the focus. It is Him.

…When Christ, who is our life, shall appear

There is only one life God want to see in our home and marriages. That is Christ Life. Christ must be our life. If the couples life are both hid in Him, then the only life that will be seen by men will be Christ life. That is what will appear externally, that is what will be tasted, that is what men will hear.

…then shall ye also appear with him in glory.

This should be the focus and desire of our heart. We must be waiting and expecting his appearance. When you lose sight of his appearance, you become weaken and His love will lost its power over your marriage.

… Mortify and Put Off… 

This is the major spiritual warfare that we need to engage continuously in our marriage to enforce our victory. But devil is very cunning, he will divert our attention and focus to ourselves and begin to fight one another, mortify one another and putting off one another. Devil is well happy to lend us his weapons – Fornication, anger, malice etc to fight each other. We must not allow satan’s weapons to rule and ruin our marriage but rather mortify and put it off continually. If you see your partner using it already, don’t join him or her to use it, rather seek for ways to destroy that weapon and put it out of your home.

…neither Greek nor Jew

This is talking about unity and harmony. As couple this principle of Greek and Jew must not be allowed. There should be no two identity. Nothing must come in between you. There should be no word like  I am rich, you are poor; this is my children and that is yours, this is my money and that is yours…

…Christ is all in all.

Christ must be all for us, all for our need, all for our problem, all for our labour. Whatever that cannot be possess in Christ must not be pursue.

…Put on

There are things to put on, there are attitude to put on, there are culture to put on if you want to enjoy your marriage. Col 3:12-14 listed out these things.  Lets read and share what does each of those garment represent.


There are two things we must seriously allow to be and stay in our marriage

And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, let… that means allow, give room, open door for it  to come and stay

LET Peace Rule

This is the first thing that must be allowed to stay

It is important to know that God’s desire is that peace should reign in our home, but peace is not normally welcome. So that scripture says. If the peace of God is allow to rule in your heart, grudges, unforgiveness, malice will not has place. Devil will not allow it, family will not allow it, society will not allow it but it is your responsibility to let peace stay and abide continually in your home. What happens when there is no peace in home?

Let the Word of Christ.

This is the second thing that we must allow to stay in our marriages. It is the words of Christ, not the word of your father or mother, it is not even the words of your pastor.

When the pharises came to Jesus in Matt 19 about the issues of marriage and divorce, the first response of Jesus to them is ‘ have you not read?

The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female. Matthew 19:3-4.

You cannot know a product more than its manufactural. God is the originator and manufacturer of marriage, he is the one that wrote the manual. It is unfortunate today that many are no longer interested in reading the manual (Word of God) to seek solution for issues in their marriage. So, just Paul admonish us here again that we should allow the word of God dwell in our homes.

Another thing you should note in that scripture is that the words must dwell in you Richly. Your home must be rich of the word of God, you must not be poor in the word of God.


For the space of time, we want to pause this message here and encourage you to finish that bible passage in Colossians chapter 3. Your marriage is bound to do well and be fruitful if you allow the love of Christ to prevail. No matter the level of disharmony and bitterness you may be experiencing in your matrimony right now, if you turn humbly and allow His love to control, He is more than able to fix it. If the men of the world refuse His love to reign in their home ( Luke 19:12-15), you are the disciple God is depending upon to allow Him to reign in your home and show case it to the enemies of the cross, will you allow Him?

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